Rochford Methodist

Message from the Manse

Editorial

Once again I have to apologise-for the April edition. The story about the Methodist Church changing its name to Methcentra was pure fiction.

All the references were correct, though. There was a meeting of Circuit Stewards on 24th March (we meet every six months with the Chairman).

The Methodist Church does have plan for corporate branding and does have a web site on which an official logo appears and churches can (if they want) use it to create their own stationery.

There is no need for churches to change their stationery if they don’t want to. Church Secretaries do not have to get qualifications to make them company secretaries.

. . . And there are NO plans for Methodism, or the Church of England, to issue shares because there is no loophole in the charity laws - as far as I know!

I wonder what the April Fool will be next year!

Sharp-eyed readers will see that the usual graphic on the front cover has been replaced by the name of our Internet site: www.rochfordmethodist.org.uk

If you can get to an internet connection, try it and let me know what you think and how it can be improved. You can email the church on its own email address:  rochfordmeth@cs.com

The website’s still being developed but it’s up and working. There’s a page for each aspect of our church’s life, links to other church sites, a link to Multimap so that visitors can find out where we are in the world.

There’s even space on it for a version of this newsletter. By the time you read this, you may be able to find this edition on the site already. This means that relatives with Internet access can read it before you can.

I’m always looking for ways of improving our site, so if you know of a suitable other site to link to, or you want to contribute a page, let me know. A good size page needs about 100 - 150 words.

Obviously, what ever you give me must conform to the ideals and practice of the Methodist Church. Which reminds me, if you do not want your newsletter item to appear on the Internet version of the newsletter, please let me know.

Do you remember the article I wrote which said that the Methodist Ticket of Membership was going to be replaced by a credit-card sized plastic card?

The Methodist Recorder carried an article recently which said precisely that! The Methodist Publishing House are involved too, so perhaps it’s only a matter of time before they start to use the idea of issuing loyalty points.

It’s all rather spooky!

Heather Sims

It does not seem that long ago that I was writing the FJ Page and telling you all about what we have been doing since Christmas. Well, here we are in June looking forward to our summer holidays although many have already ventured to all parts of the globe for their well earned rest.

We have had some varied mornings since I last reported to you. In May we had a morning when we looked at names and considered what immediately came to mind when we said a name. We wondered what other people thought about us when they heard our names. It made us all think carefully about the way we come across as Christians to other people.

In June we looked at some of the very joyful psalms in the Bible and then considered why it was that we can sometimes feel very joyful in the Christian life and sometimes not. We concluded that we only have ourselves to blame if we feel indifferent. God is the same yesterday, today and forever.

The 17^th June was of course our FJ Club Anniversary. I was glad to see a full attendance from the FJ Club although it was a pity that many of our regular congregation were unable to be there for the occasion. I was very pleased with the service and very grateful to Colin Turner for all the effort he put into the service. Thanks to all the FJ Club who took part in the service and especially to Katie for singing so well at such short notice.

Thank you to all of you who remember to pray for the FJ Club as we are going through a rather difficult patch at the moment for various reasons but more about that next time.

Cleaning Rota

June 3rd        Sue and George Edwards

        9th        Robert & Kathy Mortlock

        16th      Norman & Gwenda Andrews

        23rd      Colin & Margaret Rayner

        30th       Judy Garner/Rosie Isaacs

July    7th       Mick Ellis/Helen Willson

        14th       Mike & Heather Sims

        21st       Bruce & Carole Glendenning

If you want to join the rota, please see Helen

 

Flower List

June     4th     Sheila Webber

          10th     Ida Hearn

          17th     Helen Willson

          24th     Jayne Pullman

July      1st     Jean Startup

            8th     Lucy Woods

          15th     Connie Whitley

         22nd     Rosie Isaacs

          29th     Audrey Startup

RDCF Report

Mike Sims

At the time of writing the RDCF (“Churches in Harmony”) have just completed the first performance of the Roger Jones musical Saints Alive. This was an excellent evening at Rochford Congregational Church (so my Better Half tells me) and was well attended. Other dates have been planned for June and July, so if you haven’t caught it yet, ask Heather, or one of the other singers from our church for the venues and dates.

We were unfortunate this year in the timing of our United Service to celebrate Christian Aid Week. This fell on the same Sunday as our Church Anniversary, which was a shame. However, I was pleased that so many of you returned a filled Christian Aid gift envelope, which were passed on for presentation during the service at St Andrew’s Church on 13 May. I’m afraid that I haven’t yet been informed how much was raised overall - watch this space….

The Church was very well represented at the annual Stations of the Cross which was held at St Teresa’s Catholic Church on Monday 9 April. This was the first year that Father Gerry led the service, and I thought that it went very well. Something that was very nice to see was that all the clergy present were invited to come to the front of the church and give the closing blessing together. The retiring collection amounted to £113 and was sent to CAFOD.

Future events are a little sparse over this summer period, but you will be pleased to here that the annual Shopland Service will be going ahead, this year on Sunday 15 July. As usual the open air service will start at 3.30 pm in the old Shopland Churchyard. This year’s theme and collection will be for Farm Africa. This will be the last year that Rev David Williams will be presiding at the service: he will be retiring on 1 April next year. Do come along to service, if you possibly can. It is always well sign posted on the day and there is an alternative location, should the weather be inclement.

One other date for your diary is Sunday evening 16 September. We will be meeting for a United evening service at St Andrew’s, Rochford - 6.30 pm. The hope is that all the local churches that usually hold evening services will close theirs and come along to worship altogether in one place. Everyone then experiences something of the style, tradition, richness and diversity of another stream of the Christian church. (The first of this type of service was held at our Church in September 1998. Cynthia led us in a quite excellent evening service looking at the roots and current practices of Methodism.)

Speaking of Cynthia, I had occasion to contact David Hardiman a few weeks ago (with my RDCF Secretary’s hat on). He said that they continue to settle happily, but somehow seem to be getting ever busier! It appears that David may take on some pastoral responsibility within the Methodist circuit.

Pass your used postage stamps to Helen Willson who will make sure they are used to raise money for missions.

	a map
	description of the geography
	languages spoken
	history (past and recent)
	a description of the economy
	the ways in which Containers of Hope have helped
	the appeal address
	details of Ray of Hope (child sponsorship scheme)

The Methodist Recorder poetry competition is taking place now and you are invited to send in a poem on the theme of Words of Life.

Poems must be previously unpublished and no longer than 40 lines. They must be all your own work, typed, printed or clearly written on A4 paper and each sheet must include your name and address.

You can submit a maximum of two poems and you should send them to the Methodist Recorder Poetry Competition, 122 Golden Lane, London ECY OTL by August 20th. The Recorder reserves the right to publish entries in any form.

The first prize is £50 and there are five runners-up prizes of £10 each.

What a silly question - probably not many. Why not just turn on the tap?

Of course, not every home has a tap - not if you live in many parts of Africa or South America.

There you may have a two or three mile walk down to the local river and back to fill your water jar with a liquid which probably wouldn’t compare very favourably with what comes out of our taps.

I remember when I was eight years of age our family moved into a new bungalow with a very large area of garden. My father was a very keen gardener but could never get enough water for his plants , so, with the help of my two Grandads he decided to dig a well.

It was 6 ft across and they dug down 14 ft, getting out hundreds of buckets of soil and sand. The well had to be properly boarded around with hard wood, covered with railway sleepers and a foot of soil, and the water piped to two 100 gallon tanks set up on a 7 ft platform by a hand-operated pump.

I watched fascinated whilst this project took shape, being constantly warned to keep away from the edge.

When all was complete it was time for everyone to work the hand pump and hear the water go plop, plop into the storage tanks from which it was gravity fed around the garden. Everyone had a great sense of achievement.

I was allowed, as a special favour, to pump up the water for about 15 minutes every afternoon when I came home from school (I must admit it was quite wearisome work and my early enthusiasm faded after a while.)

However, this experience of long ago gives me just a small inkling of what it must be like having a well dug for the first time in a village community.

Our Methodist Relief and Development Fund have recently spent £9450 on having wells dug in Togo and Uganda, including one to serve the needs of a Children’s Home

We have sent money for well-digging before, so we thought another £25 from Tiddlers would help to continue this important work and support our African friends.

Thanks for your loyal giving to Tiddlers.

Our Tuesday meetings continue to be popular. We have 23 on our morning register and 16 in the afternoons, with a waiting list of 8, mainly needing the morning session.

At each session the toddlers enjoy a variety of toys, a ‘messy’ activity such as paint, glue or sand, and a sing-song. The results of our most recent art work can be seen in the Greaves Hall - we’ve even tasted some of the fruits depicted.

The new door has been much appreciated in recent hot weather and we have purchased a safety gate to keep the littlies indoors whilst we enjoy the fresh air.

We close mid-July for the summer and re-open on 11th September to a day of excitement on a bouncy castle and indoor soft-play equipment

I had a fascinating meal with one of our more senior church members a few weeks ago.

Over starters we discussed our host's table decorations which were models from a bygone age, but however still familiar in the best restaurants of the world.

With the main course came a conversation that sent us back to thinking of our childhood. After wide ranging discussion came the topic of the game STALL BALL.

Now I believe this could be a money spinner if only we knew what it was! We think there were two teams of nine players, and rather like Cricket, one team fielded while the other batted. The wicket however was a one foot square board mounted on a pole three feet high, the bats were ten inches in diameter with short handles. Now if we only knew the rules we could market the game for sale and advertise it on our new Church website and pay for our building work!

During dessert our conversation turned to sayings of our Mothers and Grandmothers. My favourite was “Keep your bowels regular and trust in the Lord”

Are there any other such sayings out there?

My thanks to my two younger friends for a delightful dinner and to my older friend for STALL BALL and for comments on my bowels!

Dining is an experience best shared with friends as is any communion.

If anyone else wants their dinner conversations recorded or their menus discussing I am always available for dinner.

Val Dobbin

This year’s Sea Walk was held on 9th June. Five of us walked from Leigh Station to Uncle Tom’s Cabin at Shoebury (7 miles) and back again. Luckily it wasn’t too hot, too cold or too wet.

As well as enjoying a good walk and good company we raised around £200 for NCH, which can’t be bad can it?

Thanks to those who sponsored us and why not join us next year?

Our next event will be the annual Street Collection on Saturday 14th July. Look out for our collectors in the Square and at Golden Cross.

Many thanks to those who have ‘volunteered’ to do this.

Dear Friends

Thank you all for your support over the past 17 years for the Coffee Mornings held in aid of the Guild Medical Missions and then the Nigeria Health Project .

Both John and I enjoyed the fellowship we shared with you in our Home and Garden.

I feel now that it is time to retire gracefully and Val and Dave have very kindly said they would take over.

God Bless and Thank you again

On behalf of the church, I think we should thank Helen for all the work she and John put into the Coffee Mornings over the years (17, eh?).

This year’s event raised over £100, which was a magnificent effort. Over the years, Helen must have raised about £1000 for Guild projects. Well done! 

Dave

Church building scheme - latest

The group who are taking forward the building scheme met recently to discuss the latest position.

The plans have been passed by the local authority, but we still need to get permission from Manchester to proceed. There are several forms that have to be brought together, describing the locality and the work. And it can be quite mind-boggling and perplexing at times.

One of the questions asked by Manchester boils down to ‘How much does it cost, how much have you got, how much can you get in grants and how much do you still have to raise over the next five years?’

To share this with you:

The architect calculates a figure of just over £74,000 for the work.

We have about £20,000 ‘in the bank’

We can get grants of around £23,000 through Methodism, both from the Circuit and from national funds.

This leaves about £31,000 to raise in one form or another over the next five years.

Loans from outside bodies are available but we would want this to be the last resort, even though one of them is interest-free and another is at a low rate of interest.

So what can you do? Ideas for fund-raising would be a good idea, especially if they could bring in money from outside the church membership. Better than just having the idea - can you organise anything?

Coach trips, curry nights at a top Thundersley curry house, fashion shows, barn dances, quiz nights have all been suggested, but they all need someone to organise and co-ordinate. Can you do it? Will you do it?

We are considering a gift day, inviting church members to make a gift towards the church over and above their weekly giving. Taxpayers can ‘Gift Aid’ the money and we can get another chunk from the Inland Revenue.

Asking for interest-free loans from church members has been suggested with repayment being made as and when we raise enough to pay the debt off.

Letters have been sent out to 19 different organisations and charitable trusts, so far, asking if they would be willing or able to chip in, but we’re always willing to hawk the begging bowl around more - just give us their names and addresses! Replies are already coming in, with one trust sending us £100.

We may be able to shave some bits off the final bill by doing some of the work ourselves - doing the final decoration, for example. Is this a chance to show off my JCB skills???!!!

How about sponsorship from suitable companies? Or a concert? Or . . . ., well, you come up with the ideas and we’ll see what we can do with it.

But apart from ideas, we need organisers and co-ordinators - someone who is good at extracting money from unlikely places. The National Lottery is the last resort and we can’t raise money from gambling, of course.

One church in the Circuit has just over half our number of members and rebuilt their entire premises at a cost of over £300,000 - and have cleared their debt. I’m sure we can raise a tenth of that amount reasonably easily.

Another church is currently looking at improvements to their premises costing over half a million pounds. They are now within sight of the final £100,000 and have employed a professional fund-raiser who is currently rejuvenating their appeal.

I’m sure we can raise a measly £31,000. The only questions are ‘How?’ ‘Where?’ and ‘What are you going to do about it?’

Dave is sending the begging letters. Carole will collect your money.

The group is Owen, Carole, Colin, Val, Dave and Revd Margaret, so contact them with any suggestions.

Or you can float ideas in the Rochford Methodist - just let Dave have the item. If you don’t want your name to appear, then he can print the suggestions anonymously, but he must know who the idea is from.

What isn’t widely known is that God was so happy about the result of the first ark that he went back to Noah a bit later and said, “Noah I want you to build me another ark”

“OK,” said Noah, “do you want it the same as before?”

“No, I don’t think so,” said the Lord. “I want it bigger - let’s say 20 floors high.”

Noah gulped at the thought and asked, “Have I got to go out and find all those animals again, then?”

“No,” said God, “I want you to fill it with fish. Carp would be a good idea. Yes, fill it with carp”.

Noah looked questioningly at God and asked, “Do you really know what you want?”

God thought for a minute and replied, “Well not exactly. I have this vision, you see. What I think I would like is a multi-storey carp ark.”

‘The sermon this morning: “Jesus walks on the water”. The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus” ’

‘Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get’

‘Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.’

For more cartoons like this, click here

The Government, Noah, and the Ark

This is from America, but I think the sentiments are recognisable this side of the Atlantic as well

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed.

But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark."

And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.

"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."

"My neighbours objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board.

Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls."

"Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind. Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.

They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."

"Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe! Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire."

"The IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years."

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled.

"You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord, "I am too late, the government already has."

Here are a few items Barry has culled from the Internet over the last few months

An article in National Geographic several years ago provided a penetrating picture of God's wings.

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.

One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.

When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.

Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast. Because she had been willing to die, those under the cover of her wings would live.

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge." (Psalm 91:4).

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17.

Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Three men die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven … don't step on the ducks."

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first man accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"

The next day, the second man steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first man.

The third man has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on … a very tall, tanned, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The man remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" She says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck".

Rochford Methodist Word Puzzle

What goes on at Rochford Methodist Church?

Sunday

11.00 am FJ Club

11.00 am Morning Service

6.30 pm Evening Service

Monday

2.30 - 4.30 pm Women’s Fellowship

7.30 pm Private Table Tennis Group

Tuesday

9.30 - 11.30 am Happy Hands Toddler Group

12.30 - 2.30 pm Happy Hands Toddler Group

3.30 - 7.30 pm Hildale School of Dancing

8.00 pm Wesley Guild (Oct-Mar)

Wednesday

9.00 am - 8.00 pm Schizophrenia Support Group

8.00 - 10.00 pm Fuchsia Society (4th Wednesday of month)

10.45 am RDCF Ecumenical Bible Study (1st Thursday of month)

3.00 - 7..00 pm Hildale School of Dancing

7.30 - 9.30 pm Table Tennis

Friday

8.00 pm Rochford Floral Group (2nd Friday of month)

9.00 am - 4.00 pm Hildale School of Dancing

The premises are available for use outside the above times but the general rules of Methodism apply - no alcohol is allowed on the premises. Contact us by clicking here.

And don’t forget:

The House groups meet each month. Listen out for the dates and venues.

3rd       Lt Col Roy Girling (SA Retired)

            Rev Christopher Jones

10th     Revd Margaret Deans (S)

            Rev George Thompson Brake

17th     FJ Club Anniversary

            Colin Turner

            Revd Margaret Deans

24th     Conference Sunday

            Peter Reed

            Sue Sigfrid

1st       Fred Brown

            Revd Margaret Deans (S)

8th       NCH Sunday

            Revd Margaret Deans (S)

            Joint service at St Andrews, Rochford

15th     Rev Christopher Jones

            Rev George Thompson Brake

22nd    Pam Freeborn

            Rev Robert Schoenhals (US Exchange Minister)

29th     Hugh Beehag

            Rev Catherine Bowstead (S)

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain; but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Dates for your diary:

July

7       Music at Highlands, The Claire Singers, 7.30pm

         Bradwell Pilgrimage (This year's Pilgrimage cancelled due to Foot and Mouth restrictions)

14     Prayer Breakfast, Thundersley 8am, speaker Robert Lynch, American Exchange minister

15     Annual Shopland Service, 3.30 pm

15     Praise in the Park. Ecumenical celebration of praise and worship in Chalkwell Park, Westcliff

August

18     Summer Fayre at Pat & Malcolm’s

18     Ashingdon Carnival & Fair

Our grateful thanks are due to Owen for the work he has put into finding and installing the new glazing. For probably the first time in 100 years or so all the windows match. The bonus is that the material is, to all intents and purposes, unbreakable and scratchproof. Well done Owen - it looks great

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